Archive for July, 2017

July 19, 2017

Exposing the lie of “I am a sinner”

You messed up, I heard. Actually, she said it a lot kinder than that, but as soon as my friend pointed out my blunder, the shame came back over me.

“I’m not good enough,” I thought, and felt the waves of pain. In the midst of the pain, I asked, why do I keep feeling shame? Why am I still feeling not good enough despite all the times repeating “I am enough,” “I love myself,” “I am an emanation of God”?

And what I heard is that “I am not enough” is not the original thought. The original thought is “I am a sinner.”

And I realized that despite my years of choosing not to believe in sin, despite changing my name to get away from my former identity, despite all my mantras and repeated phrases, that identity of believing I am a sinner remained. It was put on me since birth, and I had not gotten rid of it. 

So every time someone tells me I made a mistake, I have used that as evidence to validate that I am a sinner. The facade of shame is built on that. That is why it hurts so much when people call me out on my blunders.

As I considered this, I heard that I can choose this or no longer choose this belief. 
And in me I saw “I am a sinner” was warring with “I am God.” So I took “I am a sinner” to the fire of Consciousness and saw it burn. And I saw myself as a little child, hearing my parents say, “You are a sinner.” And I looked at them and I said, “No, this is a lie. I am God.”

This occured when I was in the midst of a group of people experiencing spiritual dance. I felt myself go free, and I began to dance with them. The dance was exuberant and wild, and I connected deeply with other people. But after a while, the music changed tempo and everyone went into a place of deep calm. I sat down on the floor. And I saw a vision. 

What I saw was a sphere. The outside of the sphere was light, and the light shot into the sphere in places as avatars. Each avatar was complete light. The light came from outside the sphere and shot up into them. There was one continuous light with light emanating in places, almost like rays, but still connected to the main light. I saw that this is who all human beings are, is this pure light. That is the actual reality.
And I asked, what if they believe they are a sinner? Because the light was so bright and so real, I didn’t see how it could possibly be turned off or how people could miss it. But when they believe they are a sinner, I saw that is like putting a cloak over the light. I was amazed that people are able to hide it or miss it, but they can.

So I say, no more hiding or pretending to be a sinner. No more false humility. Let the cloak fall off. Let the veil fall. It’s time to experience reality. We are light. Pure light. White light so bright the eye cannot behold, the mind cannot comprehend. But still. Let it shine.